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You will not believe how I was nailed by the TSA today

… “I have no water in there”

Well, starting on my way back to Pennsylvania, things appeared to be going well. My bag was one pound over and they left me go. That should have been an omen.

Unfortunately, it was not.

This time, I have to take the blame.

I have a small bag that I take onto the plane with me. It has two laptops, an iPad, some books, and an assortment of cables to recharge all of those things.

However, the process had changed.

At 75, change is tough

Generally, I have to take out all of the computers and cables before pushing the bag through the machine designed by the Thought Police. Today, they told me to place my phone in the bag, which is also a change.

For me, change is tough, but this looked to be something that speeded up the process. I was optimistic until I saw my bag moved to the “Uh-Oh” line. A severe looking TSA employee picked up the bag and asked if it was mine. He told me to move behind a screen, which I did.

Then he said, “You must have some water in here.”

I told him that I did not, but it did not matter. He was going through the bag. It took him forever, but finally he took out something that should not have been in there.

The short version: I have had chronic ulcer disease for years, but today, the only thing I do to help is take some Mylanta once in a while. I already had my bag packed, but I noticed that Idid not put that Mylanta in it.

Therefore, thinking nothing about it, I threw it into my smaller bag.

The chemical testing.

Not only did he take out the container, he had to do some chemical testing on it. He put a variety of small pieces of paper into it, and then placed one of them into a container.

Guess what he found?

It was 100 percent Mylanta.

He was nice about it. He said that he was returning it to me only because they said that it was medicine. Otherwise, I would probably have been reported to the Thought Police and who knows where I would be right now.

I blame all of this on the people who ignored this warning: “Bin Laden determined to strike in U.S.”

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